


Icha Icha Sensei

by TessaKeane



Series: KakaIru Prompts 2019 - 2020 [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Umino Iruka, Book Danger, Books, Drunk Anko, Gay, Humor, Icha Icha, Iruka sensei, Iruka's reputation takes a hit, Kakashi's favorite series, Kakashi's in trouble, M/M, Mentions of Bedroom lives, Revenge, Rumors, Snitches get punished, What happens when you diss Jiraiya's work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23138569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessaKeane/pseuds/TessaKeane
Summary: #2 – Books:Iruka notices people giving him odd looks one day and decides to investigate. He is not pleased to find out the reason and that he somehow has ended up as the subject of a very different take on the Icha Icha franchise.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: KakaIru Prompts 2019 - 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661089
Comments: 10
Kudos: 192
Collections: KakaIru Week 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's my birthday and as promised I added the first chapter of the new short fic. This is Male with Male, if that's not your thing then don't read it or comment thank you. Hope all who read enjoy :) Happy KakaIru reading.

Iruka was beginning to get paranoid. All day people had been giving him odd looks. Men stared, women whispered behind hands, and quickly rushed away when they’d been noticed. Only the children were acting normally and it was beginning to get on his nerves. After a whole day of this, Iruka decided he needed to get some information as to why.  
He didn’t think he was just being paranoid and he knew just who to go to in order to find out. 

Sending messages to a couple of his friends, particularly the gossipers, Iruka began to get changed. As long as they were in Konoha he knew his friends would show up, particularly if they had dirt on him. Of course they would want to get the scoop first hand and Iruka wanted to know what he should be confirming or denying. 

After he was changed he sat down to do some grading, before finishing with a satisfied look. He then made himself dinner and finally headed out to the bar to get some answers. 

There were a few bars in Konoha. Maybe it was Tsunade’s influence or maybe it was just necessary in a village with plenty of ninjas that wanted to drown their guilt and sorrows and would pay to do it. There were no strict rules on who went to which bar mind you, but some got to be known for the people who originally chose them. 

Iruka and his friends generally met up at a bar considered to be “the Chunin” bar although not all of his friends who he invited were. Jonin had their own classified bar, but some still visited the Chunin bar when invited.

The Chunin bar was perfect for a sensei who needed to relax and avoid both children and most Jonin. Iruka had never been to the “Jonin” one, but he suspected it would stress him out, particularly considering Jonin already did thanks to mission desk work. Some more than others.

He ordered umeshi and waited for at least some of his friends to arrive. Within an hour Anko, Kotetsu, and Izumo had shown up and by now they were all happily drunk.

Since her arrival Anko had been looking at him like the cat that stole the cream. He knew that she at least knew something and suspected the other two might as well, mostly from the lack of eye contact. 

Iruka wanted information of course, but he didn’t want to be rude and ask right away, so he waited for the alcohol loosened tongue to begin wagging. Sure enough it did, in  
the form of a drunken Anko,

“Iruka you doggg-” she slurred, her body leading against the bar as she smirked at Iruka.

“Pardon?” The sensei questioned, signaling for the bartender to bring water so that he could start diluting her intake, since she was too far gone at this point to notice.

“You can’t fool me with your innocent act you sly little Dolphin.” She purred at him.

Iruka’s brow rose and he looked at the others,

“Anyone care to translate?”

Izumo might have done just that if not for Anko pressing her palm against his mouth as she tried to remember how standing up worked again.

“Don’t you try to play innocent with us Iruka-sensei, the whole adult village is talking all about it.”

“Anko leave him alone, he may be embarrassed, if someone wrote about my ‘bedroom life’ I would freak out and not want to hear about either. Has this village no shame?!” Kotetsu questioned.

Iruka blinked, he had no idea what they were talking about, particularly because he didn’t currently have a ‘bedroom life; and what was that again, someone wrote about it?

“Okay, someone had better start making sense soon or I’m going to lose my patience and you’re all going to lose your booze. What exactly going on here?” he demanded.

“You and Kakashi Hatake, of course. I’m rather surprised you’d go for him to be honest, but I guess you must be compatible…in some area.” She hinted clinging to her drink thanks to the sensei’s treat. 

Iruka blinked. Now he had a better idea of what the rumor was about, but it was nonsense. He had nothing to do with Kakashi most of the time, except to argue about things that Iruka felt should have been understood by the majority of human society, but that the copy nin didn’t seem to get. 

Iruka couldn’t believe that the village would think that and even more why someone would write about it,

“Kakashi? That’s ridiculous. Even if I had a ‘bedroom life,’ which I don’t, I can assure you that Kakashi wouldn’t be part of it.” 

“Oh, if he’s not then why would someone write this?” Anko demanded as she pulled out a book that had Iruka and Kakashi in a very romantic position on the cover. On the top read Icha Icha Sensei.

Slowly, so as not to blow his top, Iruka reached for the book. He was so angry that his hand was actually shaking. Still, since the book had gotten around already it was best to see just how defamed he actually was. 

Iruka flipped through the pages. It was a graphic novel and it was explicit. A burning rage began in his chest and traveled up until it seemed to come out of his ears. His male friends watched nervously waiting for a tirade to end all tirades, but Anko was too drunk to notice the dangers and honestly may not have even cared if she was sober,

“Which reminds me, can I have your autograph?”

Iruka couldn’t help himself. He picked up the water he’d been about to use to dilute and threw it in Anko’s face, setting the cup down hard afterward. To most people such an action would have lead to certain death, but Iruka didn’t care. He was pissed and she had kept vitally important information to herself for so long. And what hurt even more was that she believed it, they all did, without asking. 

Iruka rose, thankfully not drunk enough that his movements were inhibited by his current alcohol intake. He ignored his friend’s response as he made his way out of the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

Outside of the bar Iruka stood fuming and trying to think of how such a thing happened. He knew who the author was of course, but there was no way to tell where he was. But why in the Land of Fire had Jiraiya changed from hetero-obsessive novels about fake characters, he hoped, to the exact opposite. And why would he and Kakashi of all people be the topic of an entire book?

There was only one person who had enough Icha Icha to help figure out if there was a reason, although it would not likely help to quell the rumors. But justice was justice. Of course he had no idea where Kakashi was at the moment, but he could make some guesses at this time of night.

He considered whether to try Kakashi’s apartment, but he wasn’t quite sure where the man lived. So he decided to try the ‘Jonin Bar.’ 

It was not hard to spot Kakashi once Iruka entered. Although Iruka was sure that the other did not normally frequent bars often do to his loner-like nature. So it must have just been luck that he’d spotted shock silver hair sticking up in the middle of a crowd of Jonin, clearly the center of attention whether he’d wanted to be or not.

In a logical state of mind Iruka might not have made a beeline for the copy nin. He may not have ignored the wolf whistles as he stood in front of him, and he certainly wouldn’t have said the next highly suspicious sounding words in front of said crowd,

“Your apartment. Now!” 

Kakashi looked a little confused, but otherwise followed Iruka out obediently, despite cheers and cat calls. 

Once they were outside Iruka pushed the Copy nin in front of him,

“Take me to your Icha Icha collection.”

Kakashi tilted his head and then smirked a little, aiming the look behind him at Iruka,

“Why Sensei I thought you were above such things?”

“This time it’s important. So less talking, more moving.” Iruka insisted pushing the man a bit to get him going, even though he didn’t know the direction.

Kakashi was amused, so he decided to go along with it, but not before giving his friends who were poking their heads out of the bar and ogling at them a wink and a wave as he pulled Iruka in front of him and pointed in his apartment’s direction. He was quite satisfied when Genma nearly choked on his senbon. The determined Iruka, thankfully didn’t notice.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this one XD this chapter was a lot of fun to write. Thank you to everyone who reads, likes, sends me kind reviews, and bookmarks. ^^ Hopefully see you on the next KakaIru work.

Iruka was silent and determined as they entered the Jonin’s apartment and headed straight for the man’s bookshelf, once he spotted it and the copy nin’s traps were turned off. 

He began to flip through some volumes, both glad and disgusted that there were pictures every so often, generally of the less child-friendly parts. But as he searched he found that he was right. None before had been known ninjas and all had been a guy and girl, or even a guy and multiple girls,

“So why did he suddenly decide to change his writing?” he questioned aloud.

“You mean Jiraiya-sama?” Kakashi asked, watching relaxedly from his seat on the couch across from him.

Iruka looked over at him,

“Have you seen the newest Icha Icha Novel?” he questioned, knowing it was a dumb question. If anyone had ever had it before Kakashi, it would have had to be Jiraiya himself or perhaps an unwilling Naruto. The other man was certainly obsessed.

Kakasi nodded taking his copy from his sleeve,

“It would be hard not to have, wouldn’t it?”

Iruka glared at him and rolled his eyes,

“I’m so glad to see that you’re enjoying this. Then again it’s not like your reputation will take much of a hit…oh Kami am I going to have to give up teaching?!” he questioned himself suddenly.

Kakashi frowned at that,

“Iruka calm down, I’m sure Lady Tsunade won’t fire you over baseless rumors and a book written by Jiraiya-sama.”

“You don’t know that, the book is called Icha Icha Sensei, if even one student sees it…scratch it if one Hyuga sees it I’m done. And Why?” Iruka questioned moving over to Kakashi and hovering over him like a worried bee, “None of this work matches his usual M.O. He’s a known womanizer and he’s never used people he knows before…wait, could someone be using Jiriaya’s name? If so what do they have against us?” Iruka questioned, then thought again pacing as he did,

“Well it’s certainly not someone who wants to ruin my reputation, since being with you could only raise mine.”

Iruka rolled his eyes,

“Don’t try to put the blame all on me. I hate to break it to you, but I have far fewer enemies than you do…that I know of anyway.”

“Ah, but it’s not about the quantity of enemy, it’s about the quality.” Kakashi added smugly.

Iruka paused for a second as his teacher senses started to tingle. He looked over at Kakashi and scanned the man’s face, at least the visible parts, before letting out an accusing huff,

“You know who did it!” he accused, beginning to walk towards the copy nin.

Kakashi smirked,

“Took you long enough to realize that.”

“So who was it really?” Iruka questioned, looking about ready to shake the other man for info.

“Who wrote it or who inspired it?” 

“Both!” Iruka snapped.

“Well Jiraiya really was the actual writer, but you are the reason it came to this actually.”

Iruka raised a brow,

“I’m the reason?” He questioned, a hand on his chest as if confirming, “how am I the reason, I have no quarrel with Jiraiya as far as I know of, why would he actively seek to ruin my upstanding reputation?”

Kakashi teasingly put his hand on his own chest, “Ow my heart.”

“Kakashi.” Iruka warned, obviously looking for more information then what he was getting.

Kakashi smiled before explaining,

“You probably don’t remember it, but a couple of months ago we had a conversation about Icha Icha.”

Iruka folded his arms in front of him and raised an eyebrow,

“I talked about Icha Icha? I don’t even-”

“We had an…argument I guess you could call it. I’d been heading to the academy to drop off a mission’s report and I bumped into one of your students while your class was working outside.”

Iruka closed his eyes and thought back a bit, it did sound somewhat familiar, although he had no idea how a run in with Kakashi had caused an inappropriate novel of him. Could Jiraiya have been passing and saw it and gotten inspired by it?

“Go on.” Iruka pressed still at a loss, but gathering more info could help it make more sense…hopefully.

“Well, when I bumped into him he got a glimpse of the book I was reading.”

Iruka froze, now remembering exactly what Kakashi was referring to. He frowned as the copy Nin continued,

“He had a lot of questions about what he saw and you began to turn bright red. Then you sent the kid back to the others and there was a lot of yelling.”

Iruka’s temple began to throb, he was beginning to sense where this was going and he didn’t like it one bit. Kakashi decided to continue going if only to rip the band aid off all at once,

“Since you were worked up you called Icha Icha trashy, predictable, lurid, and low brow. When I defended it you just got angrier so eventually I handed you my report and walked off.”

“I remember,” Iruka said, teeth gritting, “but what does that have to do with this new novel. Was Jiraiya there? Did he overhear us?”

Kakashi shook his head,

“No, but I told him all about it.”

“You what?!” Iruka hissed, contemplating whether or not this was worth killing the copy nin and becoming a rogue ninja for.

Kakashi nodded,

“All Shinobi’s should be able to take criticism. Since I enjoy his work so much I informed him of your public feeling so that he could grow and improve. And I must say his newest work is certainly not predictable. You should give it a read, it’s my favorite.”

Iruka paused. The man in front of him was the true cause of all of this. 

Iruka had known for a long time that Kakashi wasn’t right. Genius or not, the man did not understand basic societal rules, like not repeating a private argument to a third party. How the man could repeat what others did and said word for word, but somehow couldn’t understand why he shouldn’t was beyond Iruka’s comprehension. 

Taking a deep breath, Iruka turned away from Kakashi and went back to the bookshelf. All of the books were by the same author. Not one was by another.

Iruka distinctly remembered that argument now, but Kakashi hadn’t said all of it,

“Do you remember what else I said during that argument, Kakashi?” Iruka questioned quietly, gently running his fingers across the Icha Icha spines as he looked over at the copy nin.

Kakashi gulped, suddenly beginning to feel a bit warm. Iruka was certainly not predictable if this honeyed voice was what came from their argument. Kakashi wracked his genius brain, but he honestly couldn’t concentrate on anything but Iruka purring at him and the way his fingers moved across his beloved books,

“I-I can’t.”

“I told you that you should read other books and broaden your mind. But I see now that you neither listened, nor obeyed,” Iruka teased batting his lashes at the other, “I guess the only way you’ll learn is if you’re punished huh Kakashi?”

Kakashi’s throat was instantly dry and suddenly his heart was beating wildly, in his chest. 

“Should you be punished Ka-Ka-shi?” Iruka questioned cutely.

All Kakashi could do was nod dumbly.

“At least you admit it. Well then don’t complain later ‘kay?” he said, smiling a little, before the smile turned from innocent to sinister.

Iruka grasped onto one of the books, took something out of his jacket pocket, and then lit the book on fire.

Kakashi’s eyes widened in shock, and he moved forward, preparing to protect the others, but Iruka was ready for him. He began to throw every book on the book shelf at Kakashi. Being a very good ninja, Kakashi caught a lot of them, but some made it past him and were harmed. Iruka kept throwing them like snowballs until both of them were exhausted. Kakashi had just managed to put out the fire before both of them passed out on the floor surrounded by what was left of Kakashi’s collection.

The next day Iruka was in bright spirits despite the situation. Knowing it was mainly Jiraiya’s fault he told Lady Tsunade, who was more than happy to punish the author for just about any transgression. Soon the rumors would die down and he would no longer have to deal with it. 

Kakashi on the other hand had a tough time explaining to his fellow Anbu members why he looked so disheveled and why he wasn’t carrying his usual Icha Icha around. When asked all he could say about the cause of the problem was that it was,

“Books.”

It would be weeks before he could be seen reading Icha Icha again, especially in public, but even when he was back to reading it he made sure to keep it in his pocket whenever he spotted a kid or more importantly a certain Chunin Sensei.


End file.
